wtf

Visiting the South Pole and 14 other lesser known crimes in Japan

Every country or district has their share of obscure crimes tucked deep in dusty long-forgotten law books. Archaic prohibitions on tying your horse to a dog or refusing to salute your teachers can be found everywhere. The following 15 laws however, are not outdated and many of us have probably done them at some point in our lives without realizing that in some cases it could land us in a Japanese prison.

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Crazy Japanese “doctor” thinks babies live in clouds, choose their mothers from the heavens

When a 4-year-old tells you his favorite hobby is riding dinosaurs with laser guns on their backs, you’d probably tend to laugh it off as the whimsical musings of a person whose brain hasn’t fully developed yet. But apparently one Japanese researcher thought taking the nonsensical ramblings of very young children seriously was an important research project lending insight into the pre-conception brains of recently born people.

“Doctor” Akira Ikegawa – who is crazy and is possibly also hoping to defraud at least a few people – says his research in prenatal care has revealed that babies sit up in clouds looking down on the world picking and choosing which mother they prefer to be born to before spiriting themselves into those mothers’ wombs to be carried to term.

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Are Chinese “dama” masks actually fashionable now?

After saving global gold prices in 2013, Chinese dama, or middle-aged women, have found another claim to fame: Influencing world fashion trends.

While most think of going to the beach as an excuse to wear as little as possible, many of these women prefer to stay covered up. But don’t start calling them prudes, since, for them, it’s a matter of practicality and beauty!

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The Kabuki Face Pack: Being beautiful is kind of gross…

Until last night, I had never used a face pack. In fact, aside from the fact that they go on your face, the only thing I knew about face packs is that many women use them because…skin. Or something.

But all that changed when I discovered my wife grinning at me and waving a white cardboard envelope around. “It’s time!” she told me. Pure panic hit me before I’d remembered I’d agreed to do…something. What was it? Oh, right, put on a kabuki face pack. “But first, let me get the camera,” she said…

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Chinese chef dies after being bitten by the severed head of a cobra he was cooking

Snakes are a delicacy in many parts of the world and among them the Indochinese spitting cobra is held in high regard for both is scarcity and the alleged health benefits it holds to those who consume it.

For the people who prepare the cobras for consumption, however, it can be a completely different story. One chef in China’s Guangdong Province recently lost his life while dressing an Indochinese spitting cobra to serve to customers in a soup. Authorities are ruling this incident to be a freak accident. “Freak” is the operative word here, as the snake that bit the chef had reportedly had its head cut off several minutes earlier.

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Talented high school baseball player steals 11 bases in one game, fans furious?

If you are a brain surgeon trying to get a side job flipping burgers at a fast food joint, you’re more than likely to be called “overqualified” and sent packing; yes, even if you really have a passion for perfecting the ultimate burger flip. Your services are clearly required elsewhere, despite your dreams of being Employee of the Month. But being overqualified for sports isn’t something most athletes generally have to worry about blowing back on them.

Unless, apparently, your sport is Japanese high school baseball, as one especially talented and furiously base-stealing Gunma Prefecture player learned recently.

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Owner walks Segway dog… or Segway dog walks owner?

While the dog you owned in your childhood may have been a total idiot that barked at its own farts, super smart dogs aren’t all that uncommon, and the Internet has done a beautiful job of giving us a one-stop shop for viewing all the glorious tricks and people-things canines are capable of.

Some dogs on the Internet are so smart, in fact, it’s hard to tell who is the owner and who is the pet. Such as this jogging man with casually Segway-riding dog that was spotted in China recently.

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Hi, perverts! If you’re one of those people that’s been on the lookout for a hyper-realistic sex doll to call your own, then look no further – Japanese company Oriental Industry, which specializes in life-size silicon sex dolls, has you covered.

The dolls, which are somewhat racistly/sexistly called “Dutch Wives” in Japan are apparently so realistic, Japanese media is convinced that if you buy one you’ll never need a real girlfriend again.

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Cristiano Ronaldo is endorsing one of Japan’s weirdest ever beauty products 【Video】

Japan is no stranger to celebrity-endorsed products. Stars who ordinarily wouldn’t be seen dead in a commercial in their home country practically flock to Japan where, rather than being seen as a black mark on one’s resume, appearing in an ad can be a sign of having made it big, with companies prepared to pay top dollar to get a celebrity’s face alongside their product.

World-famous soccer player Cristiano Ronaldo, though, was the last person we expected to see endorsing a face-toning exercise product that makes the user look like they’re devouring a frantically flapping seagull head-first…

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Something for the weekend? Love doll exhibition opens in Ginza – and yep, it sure looks creepy

“Bored of Tokyo”, you say?! It’s impossible to run out of things to do in Tokyo! Ever-evolving fashion, more Michelin stars than any other city in the world, and hundreds and hundreds of art museums and galleries…

“Oh yeah! Art! Like that erotic gallery in Ginza that’s been taken over by sex dolls for the month of August! Tell me more about that!”

Oh. Well…if you insist.

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Voltorb-slash-Ash?! People are sharing (bad) erotic Pokémon pics now?

What d’you mean, you’ve never read any comic-form Pokémon slash fiction? Boy, are you in for a treat, as we delve into the dark, dark depths of the internet to bring you … some sexy Pokémon time from a Japanese online message board.

(Things are about to get NSFW, unless your boss happens to be an aficionado of cartoon monsters getting it on. I’m pretty sure mine is. You’ve been warned!)

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Put your washing machine to better use – cook Chinese soup with it!【Video】

There are all sorts of electrical household appliances designed to make cooking easier these days. Multi-functional microwave ovens, bread makers, noodle makers, you name it. Advertisements make these kitchen gadgets look so easy to use, they tend to make us forget that these machines were created to help people who actually cook. They’re probably not going to turn folks who don’t usually cook (microwaveable food doesn’t count!) into instant chefs.

This might sound crazy, but your washing machine might just be the fool-proof cooking appliance! Not convinced? We weren’t either, until we saw this Chinese guy cook soup with his washing machine!

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Basement Jaxx’s bizarre Japan-based music video freaks us out, makes us want to dance

Sometimes it seems like whenever a Western creator wants to get away with something really over the top and crazy, they just set it in Japan to take advantage of that “those Japanese are sooooo weird” stereotype while simultaneously distancing themselves from criticism.

The latest creators to do this are British electronic dance band Basement Jaxx, who have come up with something really, uh… special.

Before we let you watch, we’ll give you a heads-up that it’s somewhat NSFW-ish, mainly on account of it involving robotic butts twerking. We told you it was bizarre.

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Chinese man pulls off best Cthulhu impersonation ever with live snakes in his sinuses

Liu Yuanfei is a Chinese man in his 50s. If he was your neighbor, you might be surprised enough at how young he looks for his age. However, he has an even more shocking talent that in spite of his youthful looks makes you wonder how he managed to live even this long.

Liu Yuanfei also goes by the name “Shewang” or Snake King due to his unnerving ability to “become one” with snakes by allowing them to slither through his various orifices. Be warned: the following video is not recommended for those squeamish about snakes, and especially for those uncomfortable with the idea of snakes crawling up your nose and out of your mouth…

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Vietnamese man, angry at wife, hatches bizarre revenge scheme: Cut off his own penis

That old Internet meme about stupid business plans that goes something like, “1) _____, 2) ???, 3) Profit!” can now apparently be applied to dumb revenge schemes, as a Vietnamese man, who, after becoming so incredibly furious at his wife that he simply had to do something to get revenge, put together this brilliant scheme: 1) cut off own penis, 2) ???, 3) SATISFACTION!!!!

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16-year-old girl arrested for beheading classmate in Japan’s Nagasaki Prefecture

Police in Sasebo, Nagasaki Prefecture, said Sunday they have arrested a 16-year-old high school girl on suspicion of killing a classmate.

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This awful woman stealing a little kid’s foul ball will ruin your day

If Hell were a real place, there would probably be a special extra Hellish corner there for people like this.

While exact details are sparse as far as our Internet research has turned up, there’s a gif making the rounds on the Japanese Interwebs depicting a woman mercilessly wresting a foul ball from the hands of a small boy who will likely never know happiness again because of the woman’s selfish actions.

Join us after the jump to feel that little bit worse about humanity.

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Man questioned by police after building “girl” out of plastic bottles, taking her out on a date

Inventor and performance artist Showta Mori has been getting a taste of internet fame recently for his videos featuring his quick-draw, arm-mounted iPhone sleeve gun, but that’s far from his only creation or even his weirdest creation. That honor goes, in my opinion, to Lisako, his so-called “PET bottle lover,” his date on a series of adventures that would have David Lynch scratching his head and saying, “Now, that’s just weird.”

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Making a “fart cannon” is simple and cheap, says Japanese comedy site

So, farts are still the pinnacle of physical comedy. I mean, they cover all the comedy bases: They’re smelly, they make a funny noise, and they make people around you feel very uncomfortable. Farts are pure genius. Proof that God loves and hates us equally.

But sometimes you want to fart on someone but they’re just a little too far away to reach with your offensive bodily odors, no matter how hard you try to project your poo gas. That’s where the – obviously – Japanese invention of the Fart Cannon comes in. With this simple device, you can launch your fart gas at unsuspecting targets several meters away.

All you need is a box, some tubing, and a willingness to insert said tubing into your anus.

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This man’s face left Chinese internet users in amazement, agony and confusion 【Photos】

Everyone has secrets, and this man is no exception. As you may have already guessed from the top image, his “secret” is on the other half of his face, which he has hidden behind his hand. There’s a saying, some things are better left unknown, and that is why it might be a wiser choice not to pry into others’ deep dark secrets. However, we promise this isn’t something gross or gory.

Are you itching to find out what he’s hiding? The choice is yours, but remember, what has been seen cannot be unseen! Venture forth, brave Rocketeer!

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