real

The Internet is a wild land, filled with many wondrous things to make you laugh or cry. There are cats, silly videos, and a wider variety of romantic entertainments than even a Roman emperor could shake a stick at.

One of the tamer “romantic entertainments” is boys love, a Japanese term for gay and/or female-oriented fiction that tends not to be very explicit. Instead, most BL, as it is commonly known, focuses more on the personal relationships of the characters.

And now a computer game is gaining attention on the Net with its meaty take on the genre.

In the choose-your-own-adventure-like dating-sim game Bacon Lettuce Annals, you play as a high school boy at a normal school…where everyone is meat. Literally, like, slabs of talking meat. There’s Yakiniku-senpai, a large chunk of gentlemanly beef with a dark side, Tuna, a friend of the main character who’s been a classmate since elementary school, and Lamb-sensei, the art teacher who’s extra popular among the students for his youthfulness.

The “cut scenes,” however, depict regular boys, like in the top image.

▼We love meat, but we don’t really, you know, love meat.

yakiniku

But that’s not the weirdest part of it. The main character, whose name you select at the beginning, is troubled by the alien voices he hears during class and the tiny fairies that he sees scrambling around underfoot. All of this is, of course, in addition to the love triangle in which the main character finds himself, caught between Yakiniku-senpai and the ever faithful Tuna.

▼Just taking a walk with Tuna.

tuna

While we didn’t get to spend enough time with the game to plumb the depths of its secrets, we did learn that Yakiniku-senpai came off the back of a calf the main character saved from a UFO while visiting a farm during elementary school. Just your normal, everyday romantic entanglements, we suppose.

The game also featured this hilarious comment from Yakiniku-senpai. “I have to be careful on sunny days, lest I start cooking.”

▼My, but those lamb chops sure are sexy.

lamb

Japanese netizens reflected thoughtfully on the game.

Do you eat them in the end?
Is it BL for “Beef Love?”
I think it’s BL for “Bacon Lettuce”…
I got bored with it.
Bujoshi [girls who are big fans of BL] are the weirdest people in the world, so this is no problem for them.
What a waste of time. I didn’t laugh at all.

Though we had to speed through the game and missed many of the details, we can safely say that it’s certainly…unique.

▼By this point, we really weren’t sure what was happening either.

wut

We weren’t able to find any, um, explicit scenes, but we would still advise being cautious if you try to play through it. You can download it for free here, though the game and webpage are all Japanese only.

Sources: Jin115, Bacon Lettuce Retsuden