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With his stylishly coifed hair, affected pose, and outlandish outfit, you could at first mistake the man in the above photo for a model. And given how ridiculous his getup is, you might find it only natural that his face is concealed, because honestly, even if you were getting paid for it, it’d still be kind of embarrassing to be seen dressed like this.

Except, that’s no fashion shoot, but a photograph taken by Chinese customs authorities who caught the would-be smuggler trying to sneak a huge quantity of smartphones into mainland China in one of the clumsiest ways possible.

As we’ve talked about before, smuggled iPhones are a valuable commodity in China, thanks in part to the staggered release dates Apple uses for its products, which make them widely available in some territories before they ever hit legitimate store shelves in another. But while we can sympathize with the temptation the man must have felt to skirt the law and turn a quick profit, we’re less than impressed with his methods.

On January 11, officials at the Futian Port customs office spotted the man, who was on his way from Hong Kong to Shenzhen on the mainland. His stiff manner of walking aroused suspicion, especially since it didn’t seem to be any sort of injury-related limp. His luggage, which consisted of two hand-carried plastic bags, was also out of the ordinary for a traveler, but since inspectors found no contraband inside, they let the man with the robotic gait continue on to the next step of processing, the metal detector.

That was when his scheme unraveled, as the sensors immediately lit up like a colorful cell phone animation with a blaring ring tone. Which was appropriate, really, since when security guards pulled up his sweatshirt, they found a massive stash of iPhones wrapped around his body.

▼ Plus one pair of very colorful boxers

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In the end, a total of 94 iPhone 5s and iPhone 6 models were pulled off the man. Needless to say, he was taken into custody, and the electronics confiscated.

▼ “You’ve got it all wrong! One is my personal phone, and the others…are for the 93 different jobs I have!”

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Hard as it may be to believe, this wasn’t the first time the wily master criminal has been caught in customs’ net. The Hong Kong resident has been scooped up for smuggling before, and he’s not the only one to employ such laughably simple methods. During the month of December 2014, Futian and Huanggang Ports, which fall under the same customs jurisdiction, reported 18 similar cases of people simply trying to walk into China with prohibited goods, which resulted in the seizure of 282 iPhones, among other items.

We’re still a little baffled that the most recent perpetrator thought his plan would work, since metal detectors can still detect metal even when you cover it with a thin layer of fabric. Then again, if he was smart enough to think that far ahead, maybe he wouldn’t be a criminal in the first place.

▼ Remember, the metal detector will know what’s going on, regardless of whether you’re strapped with a firearm or consumer electronics.

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Sources: People, China News
Images: People
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