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When I was first exposed to Japanese commercials, it seemed like every one of them was off-the-rails insane. Filled with breathless rapid-fire speech punctuated by seemingly pointless pauses for some unknown dramatic or comedic effect, each ad seemed to be end as soon as it began, often giving little, if any, mention of its product.

Things seem to have calmed down considerably in recent years, though, with a trend towards a bit more restraint and comprehensibility, under the solid logic that if the audience is left paralyzed from their minds snapping as they try to process what they just saw, they won’t be able to go to the store and buy your products.

Still, every once in a while, a marketing team decides to just go for broke and tries to raise the bar for commercial craziness, and this new Cup Noodle ad, featuring one of Japan’s most popular actors, is about as weird as they come…and that’s before the horses with human faces and ramen on their heads show up.

For three seconds, nothing out of the ordinary happens, except for the fact that actor Takeru Sato, star of the live-action Rurouni Kenshin movies and currently airing TV drama The Emperor’s Cook, is eating his Nissin Cup Noodle instant ramen with a fork instead of chopsticks.

▼ Oddly enough, the fork ends up being relevant later in the commercial.

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Consider this to be a brief warm-up period during which your brain can limber up for the onslaught of strangeness to come.

The rest of the ad is like a primer for the various genres of Japanese-style over-the-top dramatic imagery. It’s got super-powered martial arts…

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…a world crumbling into fire…

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…and a rocket-punching giant robot, piloted by a team of five pilots in primary color uniforms, (all of whom are Sato, naturally).

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The ramen-loving actor is just getting started on his odd odyssey, though. After flying through the skies like Dragon Ball Z’s Son Goku, next we see him hop on his aforementioned fork and surf through a monster wave of noodles.

▼ While Tebowing, no less

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Other modes of transportation include transforming into a race car that apparently runs on ramen…

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…followed by the man-horses, which might be the weirdest thing in the commercial.

▼ Sorry, Nissin, adding a soft focus frame doesn’t make this any less disturbing.

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Then it’s back to human form, as Sato flies off into space to buzz some aliens and blow up parts of Earth’s neighbors.

▼ Take that, Jupiter!

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Oh, and also to turn green and fire eye lasers…

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…at a giant meatball asteroid that turns out to be…

▼ Sato!

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Remember when I said the pack of horses with Sato’s face “might” be the weirdest thing in the ad? That’s because this galactic conflict is resolved when Sato eats himself.

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But it’s OK, because it looks like Asteroid Sato’s esophagus leads directly to a rock concert venue!

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That’s where the ad ends, as Nissin signs off by imploring us all to “Stay hot.”

▼ Okay, Nissin, will do. And you stay crazy.

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Source: Cup Noodle Twitter, YouTube/Nissin foods Group Official Channel
Images: YouTube/Nissin foods Group Official Channel