Professor Poop wants to impart you with kanji knowledge during his temporary stay in your digestive system.

In spite of the country’s legendary cleanliness, or maybe because of it, Japan absolutely loves a good poo joke. So back in the spring, publisher Bunkyosha dropped the Unko Kanji Drill, or Poop Kanji Drill, series of educational texts onto the market, filled with exercises to help young kids learn kanji, Japan’s most complex writing system, through poo-related example sentences.

The books quickly became best sellers, with over 2.76 million copies printed to far in order to keep up with demand. Capitalizing on that popularity, Unko-sensei (“Professor Poop”), the series’ mascot, now has his own line of candies, and yes, they all look like little turds.

Since Unko-sensei is himself an anthropomorphized swirl of poop, this means that manufacturer Bandai Candy is, essentially, encouraging its customers to eat shit. Thankfully, the Unko Kanji Drill Gummies, which went on sale November 7, contain no actual fecal matter. Instead the brightly colored chewy snacks are cola-flavored. In keeping with the books’ artwork, Unko-sensei is not a realistic dark brown, but instead bright yellow, or alternatively pink, when in gummy form (note: if your own stool should become neon yellow or pink in hue, consult a physician immediately, unless you’ve been eating some similarly shaded novelty hamburgers).

▼ As an added bonus, double-sized Big Unko-sensei gummies are randomly packed in, mirroring your digestive tract’s occasional bouts with extra-large work orders.

The Unko Kanji Drill Gummies haven’t forgotten the franchise’s original purpose, either, as the pouch they come in contains one of 12 sets of example sentences of the back for you to practice your reading and writing with.

And just as you should have regular bowl movements, Bandai Candy will be rolling out another turd-inspired candy on December 12 with the launch of Unko Kanji Drill Soft Candy. The individually wrapped treats have a yogurt/grape flavor, and will have kanji drill sentences on their wrappers. They’ll also come with Unko-sensei stickers, meaning that yes, th soft candies will give you sticky poo.

Both varieties can be purchased in convenience stores and supermarkets nationwide. The gummies are priced at just 108 yen (US$0.98), and even though the soft candies are a little more expensive at 216 yen, there’s no denying that either way, this is some cheap shit.

Sources: IT Media, @Press
Top image: @Press

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