The Big Mac Jr., the classic Big Mac, the Grand Big Mac and the Giga Big Mac are like a happy Big Mac family made of meat and buns.

McDonald’s Japan has decided it’s once again time that the Big Mac had a posse, which is why on February 21 they launched their customary collection of bigger and smaller Big Mac hamburgers to stand beside it, like a Pokémon evolutionary line-up or the shark family in a popular children’s song. Posters adorning the doors of McDonald’s restaurants declare the tiniest in the line, the Big Mac Jr., to be “big on cuteness!”, possibly as a countermeasure against comments that a small Big Mac is kind of a misnomer.

▼ A stack of Big Macs, from top to bottom: Big Mac Jr., Big Mac, Grand Big Mac.

Our Japanese-language reporter Seiji, still aglow from increasing his own family last year, noticed that the posters didn’t do a great job of conveying the actual difference in size between the burgers. So he rolled up his sleeves, took out his wallet, and did what any brave investigative journalist would do: he bought all four burgers.

▼ Seiji didn’t seem to care that fellow reporter K. Nagahashi did an extensive report on them last year.

The Big Mac Jr. is the most economical option at 290 yen (US$2.72) plus tax; the Big Mac is its usual 390 yen plus tax, the Grand Big Mac is 540 yen plus tax, and the Giga Big Mac is a whopping 740 yen plus tax. Notably, the prices have been adjusted to stay the same even in the face of 2016’s consumption tax increase. Thanks, McDonalds!

The hamburger patty increases around 1.3 times in size with each upwards evolution, but the larger burgers also come with multiple patties and extra layers to ensure you get enough burger for your buck. Just like the beefed up Big Macs from previous years, then.

Now that Seiji had them all lined up on one plate, even he couldn’t deny the obvious parallels. Clearly the Giga Big Mac was the big hamburger daddy of the team, with the mighty mom Grand Mac at his side. Then the classic Big Mac was the eldest son, which made Big Mac Jr. the stereotypical bratty little brother.

▼ Clockwise from top left: Grand, Giga, Classic, Junior.

With the burgers’ sizes ascertained, all Seiji could think to do with them was to have them roleplay a short family skit, so that’s exactly what he did.

Grand Big Mac: “Hey, Big Mac! Don’t leave your little brother behind!”

Big Mac: “Ugh, but Junior’s so stoooooopid!”

Big Mac Jr.: “Big bro! Wait up!”

Giga Big Mac: “Ha ha ha! Kids these days!”

Perhaps it was the touching family burger scene in his imagination, or the heat from all those toasted burger buns he’d been messing around with, but Seiji felt warm both outside and in. Then he made the Big Mac Jr. perch on top of the Giga Big Mac, as Seiji tends to do.

Despite the ad’s claims that the Big Mac Jr.’s cuteness made up for its tiny size, Seiji confessed that he didn’t really understand how you could call something a Big Mac when it’s significantly tinier than its namesake in every way. Still, the joy he felt from seeing all four of those burgers cuddled together was great enough to compensate for its tiny stature and then some.

Perhaps we can anticipate more tiny treats from future McDonalds’ menus? A Child Pie? A McFlurry Mini? Stay tuned!

Images © SoraNews24
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