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Master Blaster

Writer / Translator

Master Blaster is the two-man translating team of Canada’s Steven Le Blanc and Japan’s Masami M, a pair who in addition to writing work are in English education and created the StudyNow app for Japanese students of English.

Together they have written somewhere around 1,500 articles for RocketNews24 covering such diverse topics as Chinese men selling sanitary napkins to each other and a Japanese guy dragging an ear of corn around the Tokyo train system. A few of these were actually good, but don’t take our word for it! Here’s what our beloved readers had to say:

“One isn't always in the mood for bold tastes. But when I'm in the mood for bold flavor I turn to you.”
“Stupid article. Who cares what the Japanese think it's cool. You don't call a monkey, "gorilla".”
“You know, this is about the most cogent explanation of how a turbocharger works that I have ever seen in the non-motorsports world.”
“Thanks for the article peter!”
“It's people like you who make exploitation possible.”
“It looks yummy and the story was great. Thank you for the smile.”

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Posted by Master Blaster (Page 120)

Crayfish claw mistakenly eaten whole becomes huge pain in the ass

On 17 April, a man whom the Chinese media is referring to as Zhang headed for the toilet to perform a crucial part of his morning routine. There would be no chance to catch up on the sports section of his paper this day, however.

During his bowel movement the man in his 40s experienced a severe pain in his anus. It wasn’t until the pain grew so intense that he could barely walk that Zhang decided to seek medical help.

And so begins a lesson on chewing your food properly.

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Japan gets heartfelt message of thanks from the main bad guy in Commando

Thirty years ago a landmark event in cinema took place when the movie Commando first hit the silver screen. It taught an entire generation to believe that a guy could have “Matrix” as a last name and that you should always kill the guys you like last…unless they get in your way.

The film also showcased the acting chops of several greats such as Arnold Schwarzenegger, Alyssa Milano, Dan Hedaya, and Rae Dawn Chong. But often overlooked is Australian actor Vernon Wells who played the role of Bennett, the Edmund to John Matrix’s Edgar.

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Japan Post, IBM, and Apple to develop senior-friendly tablets

On 30 April, a joint announcement was made by Apple, IBM and the nation’s private postal service Japan Post regarding a new project that aims to change the lives of Japan’s aging population.

The three companies are combining their expertise to develop a line of iPads with specialized apps for senior citizens. Designed by IBM in conjunction with elderly care services in the works by Japan Post, it is hoped that the tablet computers will help to reduce the burden on younger generations as they care for an increasing number of aged family members.

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Squid ink toaster oven pizza released by Nippon Ham

I’m sure we can all remember those happy childhood days when Mom would go into the kitchen to wrestle a squid. The sound of tentacles swishing through the air and muffled curse words could mean only one thing: Squid Ink Pizza for dinner!

But now, having grown up into the cold world of adulthood, that simple joy of Mom’s homemade squid ink pizza has fallen by the wayside. Luckily, Nippon Ham has stepped in to help take us back to those days with their new Squid Ink Pizza.

Could a toaster oven pizza from the supermarket capture such a familiar taste of home? We bought one to find out!

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Conbini-talk with Mr. Sato: How to make a convenience store snack 100 times more delicious

Japan’s convenience store- (conbini) littered landscape is a breeding ground for competition, and with that comes increasingly more delicious food and drink in an increasingly wider variety.

This shouldn’t be news to anyone who lives in Japan, but our self-confessed conbini connoisseur Mr. Sato says he has developed a way to make one of their snacks 100 more delicious than its regularly sold.

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Japanese dentistry association says don’t hesitate to brush right after you eat

That might not sound like a shocking headline for those of us whom have been taught to brush right after every meal from an early age. But recent reports from the past decade have been suggesting something different.

Articles from the Mayo Clinic, Colgate, and New York Times among others have been advocating waiting 30 to 60 minutes after eating to brush. Apparently the delayed brushing movement has gotten so strong that parents Japan are beginning to complain to schools making children brush their teeth right after lunch time.

So the Japan Society of Pediatric Dentistry (JSPD) issued a statement telling everyone to not believe the hype and that it’s actually in your best interest to brush right away.

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Dragon Quest Super Light Cafe draws near! Command?

Beating on smiling blue slimes for single points of experience and coins of gold is taxing work. So for those famished dragon questers and/or warriors in the Tokyo area Square Enix and TBI are set to open the Dragon Question Super Light Cafe (DQSL Cafe).

The cafe is expected to be modeled after the Dragon Quest world and feature dishes based on its characters. This may be the only time that you can nibble on a metal slime (risotto) and sip on a killing machine at the same time. But there are more secrets to be had here as well! Command?

Fight

Run

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Big dudes CAN jump: Frolicking sumo means it’s officially springtime again in Japan!

It’s been a rather hard winter, with some areas up north experiencing heavy snowfalls and other parts with hard-hitting low temperatures. But, as heralded by the ume and cherry blossoms, spring has finally sprung.

And what could be a better symbol of these sunny days coming to Japan than some scantily clad sumo taking advantage of the pleasant warmth.

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“Pink Pussy” up for sale in Hyogo Prefecture

While perusing Japanese restaurant website Tabelog recently, I came across a little cafe in Takarazuka, Hyogo Prefecture, called Pink Pussy. Quite what it was I don’t know, but something about the place really appealed to me so I hopped on a train over there. It was a bit of a journey but I’ve traveled farther to get some, and you can’t put a price on a good cup of coffee.

However, when I arrived I was shocked to find that Pink Pussy had been put up for sale.

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Raw eggs may lead to heads as bald as eggs

One of Japan’s most beloved dishes is tamago kake gohan which is simply a bowl of rice topped with a raw egg and a splash of soy sauce. While the thought of consuming raw egg might be off-putting to some people, here a TKG is about as commonplace as a PB&J would be in America.

In fact raw egg is used as a garnish for many other dishes as well, which might make you wonder why everyone in Japan isn’t constantly kneeling over a high-tech toilet bowl. Actually the problem of bacteria has been licked quite some time ago, but now a new danger in raw egg consumption looms: it’s thought to cause hair loss.

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Chinese company Ninebot buys out Segway

It’s hard to imagine life before 2002 when the Segway standing scooter thing hit the scene completely revolutionized the way we get about, just like everyone predicted it would.

Its staggering success has made it an American institution. Like many of you, I have fond memories of making out with that special someone in the back of my Segway at the Segway-in movies during those hot summer nights.

But now, the vehicle we have all welcomed into our lives is entering a new chapter having been bought out by Beijing-based Ninebot Inc. I guess we won’t be able to use the old cliché “it’s as American as a Segway” anymore.

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Eat like a supermodel with Rola’s Apple and Avocado Dishes 【Recipe】

One of Japanese most popular TV personalities is Rola, a fashion model of mixed Bengali, Japanese, and Russian descent. If you live in Japan you’ve undoubtedly seen her on TV or billboard advertisements numerous times. But who knew she was also harboring delicious and easy recipes?

Not only are they stylish looking but Rola’s Apple Fried in Coconut Oil and Avocado Scrambled Egg Toast and surprisingly simple to make…so we did. But can we really trust a model when it comes to delectable home cooking?

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Fly a Nimbus and launch a Kamehameha at the “Dragon Ball in Science” exhibition coming to Tokyo!

Last summer the Dragon Ball in Science exhibition hit Nagoya amid much fanfare and celebration. Participants were encouraged to immerse themselves in the world of Dragon Ball as reproduced by modern science and technology such as piloting a Flying Nimbus with their minds or communicating telepathically with Goku on King Kai’s planet.

It was a big success, but many complained that they couldn’t attend with it being held out in Nagoya. So now, Dragon Ball in Science is coming to the people of Tokyo during Fuji TV’s Spring Fest 2015 LIFE !S LIVE.

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The legality of adding free green onions to your ramen

Lots of restaurants offer condiments for customers to use freely, but how “freely” are they actually meant to be used. For example, one ramen shop in Japan had a poster offering to let customers take as much green onion as they want, until someone came in and did just that.

The patron piled on about two bowlfuls of diced scallions per single bowl of soup, because apparently that’s the way he likes it. After a few repeat visits the staff interceded and asked that the customer cool it with the onions.

So, who is in the right? Was the gluttonous customer abusing the kind offer of the restaurant, or should the shop stand by its explicitly written offer? Japanese legal website Bengoshi News called in a lawyer to find out.

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Three foreign tourists arrested for molestation in Japan after thinking it was normal behavior

Given the size and longevity of the adult entertainment industry, it’s safe to say that such products serve a purpose in societies everywhere. However, one purpose for which adult videos should never be used is as travel guides for visiting other countries.

You might think that would be common sense but apparently we can’t stress the point enough after there has been a recent spate of molestation committed by foreign tourists who claim to have thought it was normal behavior in Japan after watching Japanese adult videos.

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Man avoids hit-and-run on way to mother’s house, later discovers victim was his mother

Karma struck China’s Wuhu City last weekend as a man who made the fatal decision to flee the scene of an accident later discovered that his victim was his own mother. Sadly, by the time he had made the discovery, his mother had already succumbed to her injuries.

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Haisu Tian paints gorgeous rolling hills and streams with rolling skates

Haisu Tian is a Chinese artist based in the USA where she studies for her master’s degree in fine art. Originally from a strict background in Chinese traditional painting, she has since begun to branch out into several other techniques. The most unique of these is a pair of inline skates fitted with some ink cans which she uses to craft large and elegant landscapes. It’s a technique that she calls “landskating,” and we find absolutely intoxicating.

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Guangzhou City to allow co-workers and neighbors to give consent for other people’s organ donations

On 3 April Guangzhou City in Guangdong Province, China, announced some changes to their organ donation laws. These changes will allow people beyond the immediate family to give permission to harvest a deceased person’s organs.

This is expected to be bad news for Guangzhou’s paranoid population, who must now expand their sphere of people likely to murder them in their sleep well beyond their wife and kids to include co-workers and other members of their community.

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Kung-fu rugby invades Hong Kong Sevens 2015

I have fond memories of going to the old Harlem Globetrotter games to watch all the sports-themed hijinks and hilarity of Curly, Twiggy, and the rest of the gang. Even though my father would later lose all of my college savings on ill-advised Baltimore Rocket bets, those games still hold a warm place in my heart.

And so, it’s great to see that this tradition of comedic sports entertainment lives on in 2015 as this brief video showing some highlights from a kung-fu rugby game during the Hong Kong Sevens tournament at the end of March.

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We try some chicken ramen-flavored ice cream at Chikira-House in Osaka

Alongside Kit Kat bars, carbonated beverages, and potato chips, ice cream is one food Japanese flavor engineers love to monkey with. In the past we’ve seen frozen desserts flavored with great tastes such as scallops, vegetables, and pork.

This time we caught word of a little shop in Shin-Osaka Station offering travelers the cold and creamy taste of chicken ramen-flavored ice cream. So we hopped a train over to check it out and grab a self-heating chiki-bento while we were at it.

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