Steven Simonitch

Writer / Translator

Though a native of the San Francisco Bay Area, Steven currently resides in Nagano, Japan, where he is known by the old lady at the supermarket as "the white guy who always buys 2 packs of natto." Having finished a 2 year stint teaching English with the JET program, Steven now spends his days writing silly things about Japan while vainly insisting to his parents that he's a "journalist" working for an established "newspaper."

Aside from writing banal stories about hot Asian women and cheeseburgers, Steven is also working with dojin circle Creative Freaks to localize their fitness app/ Japanese dating sim series, Burn your fat with me!! (known as Nensho! in Japan).

Posted by Steven (Page 2)

Two New Ghibli Films Out in Summer 2013, Posters Revealed!

In case you needed another reason to hope the world doesn’t end on December 21, Studio Ghibli has officially announced it will release two new films on the same day in summer 2013.

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Beautiful HDR Time-lapse of Tokyo Will Make You Want to Travel to Japan. Now.

One of the many wonderful things about modern technology is that it not only allows us to visit new places from the comfort of our homes, but also to experience familiar places in completely new ways.

For example, I have visited Tokyo numerous times over the three years I have called Japan my home and I feel like I have a pretty good idea of what the city is all about: skyscrapers, bright lights, crowds of busy people, corn man. But run all that through high-dynamic-range (HDR) imaging, record it in time-lapse, and watch it on YouTube in 1080p and the city sights I know so well take on a completely different, almost otherworldly, appearance.

Check out the video below!

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It seems like nearly every city, town, and village in Japan has a cute mascot character to represent it. Usually these are yuru-kyara, anthropomorphic characters often designed with qualities representing whatever that municipality is known for.

The city of Suwa, Nagano, however, knows that the worth of a mascot character should be judged not by how well it represents the region, but by how well it sells. And in Japan, nothing sells better than cute anime girls.

That’s why they came up with Suwa-hime, or Princess Suwa, a young anime princess from medieval Japan with her own manga, voice actress, and line of original figures and goods.

Since her creation in 2011, Suwa-hime has been such a success that the city has even started printing her on their official marriage certificates, and the nerdy public official who came up with her is likely basking in splendid vindication of his hobby for the first time in his life.

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Amazing AU Commercial Turns Tokyo Into Night Club— With Daft Punk!

Some Japanese companies are known for making really clever commercials, others are known for making some really dumb commercials (looking at you Sony).

Mobile carrier au (pronounced “A-U”) has proven itself a part of the former camp with its fantastic new commercial, “FULL CONTROL/Xmas”, which shows what Tokyo might look like if it were turned into one giant night club.

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High-Speed Chocolate: A Look at the New Shinkansen Kit Kat and Other Cool Japanese Kit Kat Packages

Japan gets all the cool Kit Kats. Since 2000, Nestlé has introduced over 200 flavors and varieties of the chocolate bar to Japan, from chestnut and espresso to baked corn and soy sauce.

Some flavors come and go with the seasons and others are exclusive to certain regions; at the souvenir shops of my home prefecture Nagano you can find the tasty Shinshu Apple flavor and the questionable Ichimi Ground Red Pepper flavor.

One of our Japanese reporters recently came across a new variety of Kit Kat at Nagoya Station that we thought was pretty cool. While the Kit Kat bars themselves are the regular milk chocolate flavor—which, mind you, differs from country to countrythe box art is inspired by the Tokaido Shinkansen line and should be familiar to anyone who has ridden the bullet train in Japan.

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Many of you are probably familiar with Rule 34, an arbitrarily-numbered internet rule which states: if it exists, there is a porn of it.

We’d like to propose a Rule 24: “If it exists, someone in Japan has a fetish for it.

Because really, in just the past month we’ve seen serialized videos of Japanese girls diving into mud and manga about a boy with a gun for a penis.

And now we have Tonsure Market, a series of over 50 videos of Japanese women having their heads shaved bald.

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Fan-Made “Dragon Ball Z: Saiyan Saga” Trailer is Finally Out! Take Notes, Hollywood

Big-budget live-action remakes of anime and manga are tricky business. One one hand, you’ve got to please the fans, who you know will be sitting in the theater with pen and paper scrutinizing every scene. But you also have to make money, which often means watering down the source material to make it digestible for regular movie-goers. As a result, live-action remakes are usually denounced by fans (and critics), but still manage to turn a profit in the box office.

This is why we love DragonBall Z: Saiyan Saga, a live-action non-profit Dragon Ball Z trailer made by fans not because they want to make a buck, but because they love the series so damn much.

The 5 minute 44 second trailer was finally released on YouTube yesterday after months of production, and looks absolutely amazing. Check it out below!

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Yes, you read the title correctly: while Americans are stocking their shopping carts with presents for their friends and family, Japanese shoppers are fighting over the last box of Mega Big Boys.

Okay, that may be slightly exaggerated, but according to JEX Condoms, sales of condoms in Japan increase by roughly 8% around the winter holidays, the bulk of which is thought to occur before or during Christmas Eve.

But why? Do Japanese people have nothing better to stuff their stockings with? Not quite, and to understand why condoms sell so well on the holiest of nights, we need to take a look at how the holiday is celebrated by many people in the country.

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Japan’s “Rent-a-Boyfriend”Dispatch Service: Because Japanese Women Get Lonely Too

Japan provides its lonely men with plenty of way to find sweet respite from the emptiness and isolation of everyday life—provided you have the cash. And we’re not just talking about prostitution: you can rent a girlfriend at Moé Date for day of “simulate romance” or find a cuddle partner at Soine-ya to help you rest easy at night.

But what about the ladies? Women get lonely too, so it seems unfair that such services would only be available to men.

Believe it or not, even before either of the above establishments were in business, there was Soine-ya Prime, a dispatch service where women can hire a handsome young man to lay with her in bed for a night.

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In any country there are both written and unwritten rules of etiquette that people are expected to follow while riding the subway. In many cases, these rules reflect some of the more unflattering quirks of that country’s people. In Japan, there are women-only commuter cars because some guys just can’t help themselves from recording up a girl’s skirt with their smartphone.

As China has been working to expand its subway network over the past few years, including a nearly 50% increase to the Beijing Subway that as made it the fourth longest metro system in the world, the country has developed its own brand of metro manners— or the complete lack thereof .

So just what kind of offenses do Chinese subway commuters have to endure on their train rides to and from work? A local newspaper in  Tianjin, China’s fourth largest city, surveyed 894 people to find out what they think are the “most unforgivable subway manners.”

Take a look at the survey results below!

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New Tokyo Crossdressing Bar Appeals to First-Time Drag Queens

Men, no matter how old or how “masculine” they are, can learn a lot from crossdressing in public (trust us, we know).

But even if you do get the urge to unbuckle and skirt up, it can be difficult to find a time and place where going out in drag is socially acceptable. Throw in the added stress of having to coordinate an outfit and wig that sufficiently bring out your inner woman and the simple act of putting on women’s clothes and walking out the door can feel incredibly intimidating to first-timers.

Enter Onna no Ko Club, or Girls Club, a new club in Tokyo where curious men can go to experience the wonderful world of crossdressing.

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【Video】 These Japanese Dolls Are Creepy, but They Sure Can Dance

Most humanoid robots are made to look either as lifelike as possible, or as machine-like as possible; that is, similar to the robots we know from science fiction.

After seeing the “Dancing Dolls” made by YouTube user RozenZebet, we have a feeling we know why: anything in between would be absolutely terrifying.

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Chinese Artist Recreates Iconic Evangelion Scene with Interpretive Dance and Fire Cups

It’s been a little over a week since Evangelion 3.0: You Can (Not) Redo opened in theaters across Japan and the film has already grossed 2.8 billion yen (about US$34 million), making it the most successful film of the year domestically.

If you still can’t get enough Eva, Chinese artist Lu Yang has created a short tribute film for the celebrated animated series that involves high fashion, interpretive dance, and Chinese fire cupping.

True to the spirit of Evangelion, the film is artistic, bizarre, and slightly disturbing.

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Japanese Plastic Figure Stop Motion Videos Look Amazing, Make Little Sense

This might be what Toy Story would look like if it were made by Japanese nerds: amazing, fluid animation, incomprehensible story line. There’s even an appearance by Hentai Woody

Check the video, called “The Worst Thing”, below:

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Japanese men hold their virtual girlfriends in high regard. Even among those who eventually find a real girlfriend and get married, there are some men who struggle to abandon their digital partner.

Especially after the release of Love Plus, an addictive open-ended dating simulator for the Nintendo DS that went on to sell over 250,000 copies in Japan, stories of men who were busted by their girlfriends or wives while playing—as well as stories of men whose wives played with them—became a common sight on the internet.

While everyone has their own level of tolerance for 2D infidelity, you’d have to be one hell of a woman to allow you husband to bring his virtual girlfriend to your most important day as a couple: your wedding.

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