Master Blaster

Writer / Translator

Master Blaster is the two-man translating team of Steven Le Blanc and Masami M.

Steven Le Blanc is an English teacher in Osaka but born and raised on a steady diet of Street Fighter and Godzilla movies in Canada. You can often find him translating stories about the impending robot revolution, North Korea, poorly named products, or whatever else satiates the ADHD he diagnosed himself as having via wikipedia. He enjoys spending his free time by pondering deep linguistic questions like what the best way to start a sentence with the word "iPhone" is.

Masami M is a Japanese person born in Osaka but raised in Tokyo. A founder of one of the first Mahjong websites in Japan, Japanese Reach Mahjong for Beginners viewed by millions monthly, he was also responsible for a blog chronicling the fates of two NOVA teachers abandoned by the bankrupt company which was profiled on national TV as well as other media outlets. In addition to translating, writing and running websites he also works in advertising.

All Stories by Master Blaster

Korean man dodges indecent assault conviction because of the way he masturbated

5 hours ago by Master Blaster
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Here’s a slice of legal trivia: At around 5 p.m. one evening in September last year, celebrity manager (let’s call him Mr. A), followed a woman (Ms. B) into her office in the trendy Gangnam area of Seoul. Once inside he began to pleasure himself directly in front of her.

When Ms. B saw the man stood in the doorway performing the unsightly act, she naturally screamed and began throwing things at him. After about 30 seconds of screaming and being showered at with office supplies, Mr. A abruptly stopped what he was doing and ran away.

He didn’t get far though. Police picked him up promptly after Ms. B notified them and arrested him for indecent assault. This would seem like an open and shut case, right?

Apparently not.

17 hours ago by Master Blaster
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No. No it cannot.

Nevertheless, this has been the headline being fervently retweeted around Japan today as some people seemed to have found another new way to thin out the country’s smartphone-using populace a little.

23 hours ago by Master Blaster
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Throughout my time in Japan I’m often reminded of how “awesome” I am at using chopsticks at every possible moment by the locals (a phenomenon compounded by my being left-handed).

Yet despite this excessive praise for eating like a human, I still feel I have a lot to learn about manipulating said utensils with more poise and grace. That’s why I’m excited to have found this instructional video that has answered all my questions and more.

Please, join us in learning how to use chopsticks like an expert through this video. And for all our Asian friends who think they have chopsticks mastered, I’m sure there is something for you to learn too!

3 days ago by Master Blaster
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What started as a simple school memo sent out to parents last Friday has mushroomed into a nationwide discussion the issues of censorship and bullying in schools and online.

The issue was triggered by a tweet which was sent out on Friday by a now disabled account showing a photo of the letter along with the caption “my school wants to ban Line and stuff lolololol.”

Line has become a highly popular app in Japan for its variety of functions including instant messaging, image sharing, and free voice calls over the internet.

3 days ago by Master Blaster
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Just when you thought it was safe to ask someone to touch up your photo, China’s Photoshop-proficient wags are back to corrupt people’s innocent image processing wishes.

In case, you missed Part 1 or even Part 2 of the series, the process involves someone asking for their photo to be improved, only to have the meaning of their words intentionally twisted for the sake of (our) humor. For example, the lady above was hoping she could look “sexier” through doctoring. Alas, she soon found that sexiness is in the eye of the beholder, or rather the person doing the ‘shopping.

Now that we’re all up to speed, on with the show.

3 days ago by Master Blaster
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Countries of the world have a lot of different features and services that make them unique to each other, but one of the things you can always find from Afghanistan to Zimbabwe is the humble taxi cab.

Of course not all taxis are equal; the cars used and more importantly the fares charged can vary greatly. If you’re interested in where your country stands or if you’re planning a trip abroad, Trip Advisor Japan has whipped up a quick and handy infographic ranking 25 places around the world by the rates of their taxis.

4 days ago by Master Blaster
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With the few days of comfortable weather known as spring in Japan slipping away it’s time to brace ourselves for the muggy scorching heat of summer. This of course means it’s Hyper-Gentleman’s Cool Biz time again!

While 2012 was the year of the electric-lime mankini, this year’s fashions are going retro with a boldly traditional Japanese loincloth, the fundoshi, balanced by an elegant yet sporty parasol.

So join us, as we examine this year’s choice in summer formal attire along with our model, the devilishly handsome Mr. Sato.

5 days ago by Master Blaster
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Navigating the sometimes choppy waters of marriage and relationships can be tough. Misunderstandings occur and tempers flare giving us occasional feelings of helplessness and despair.

That’s why it’s nice to be able to turn to the anonymous masses that haunt the internet for help regarding marital problems. Take, for example, a 33-year-old man whose wife refuses to say anything other than the word “boobs” to him.

That’s a problem you may be reluctant to bring to your family’s attention. Your friends, as helpful as they may be, would be honor-bound to bust your balls about it. This looks like a job for the internet!

6 days ago by Master Blaster
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A 25-year-old man was arrested for theft in Iwakuni City on 14 May after taking a new Lexus for a test drive from a dealership in Kurashiki City, two prefectures and 180 km (112 mi) away.

According to the police investigation, the suspect Shota Ishibashi wanted to visit his grandmother in Fukuoka, 422 km (262 mi) away. However, being unemployed he was unable to afford the trip. Then he got a brilliant idea and headed down to his local Toyota dealer.

6 days ago by Master Blaster
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On 13 May, JR Central released station design plans for their upcoming Chuo Shinkansen running from Tokyo to Nagoya and later Osaka. In the words of JR, these stations were designed “not to rely on traditional styles” and “to boldly pursue functionality and efficiency.”

However, when the details emerged to a train station loving public, the reaction was less than enthusiastic with comments along the line of “too bold.”

6 days ago by Master Blaster
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Ever have one of those nights where you knock back one too many and wake up not remembering what happened the night before? Then as you fumble around for clues like a matchbook or photos on your phone, you discover that you’ve cut off your own privates with a pair of kitchen scissors?

If so, I’m terribly sorry for your loss, but, as this truly sobering tale of self-mutilation reveals, you’re not alone…

May 16, 2013 by Master Blaster
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From their humble beginnings on Taiwan’s video series Weather Girls, a seven-girl idol group by the same name that specializes in bringing you the week’s weather, have been building a solid fan base in their new home of Japan.

Though a variety of theme months and a constantly improving grasp of the Japanese language, these girls have steadily shown that they are willing to work hard for their place in the spotlight. However, the next step is a doozy.

It has come to light that all seven girls (one for each day of the week) are studying hard to take the extremely strict National Weather Forecaster Exam next year. The test, which was established in 1994, reportedly has a 5 percent pass rate. However, if the girls succeed they will become full-fledged weather forecasters.

May 15, 2013 by Master Blaster
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I freaking knew it!

Spaghetti and other pasta recipes have repeatedly asked us to “boil with salt” – a rule that has always baffled me. Once, early on in my cooking life, I decided to be a good boy and add the salt as requested only to find that it didn’t make a lick of difference to the end result. I haven’t looked back since.

In an interview with website, President Online, Tokyo Kasei University Graduate School of Home Economics, Keiko Nagao, puts this myth of boiling with salt to rest once and for all, thus saving us from a needless cooking step. Read More

43-Year-Old Taiwanese Man Arrested for Stealing Box of Condoms, Booooooy Are His Parents Gonna Be Mad

May 15, 2013 by Master Blaster
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It’s a familiar coming-of-age scenario for many a young man. Things with the girlfriend are progressing well and it’s time to round third into the home plate. However, there are still condoms to get. How do you confront the judgmental gaze of the minimum wage cashier who in reality couldn’t care less what you’re up to?

One young Taiwanese lad at the tender age of 43 faced with this dilemma opted to steal a box of condoms rather than deal with the awkwardness of buying them legally, and as such has become international news.

May 14, 2013 by Master Blaster
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Do you like ice cream? Do you like putting birds in your mouth?

Of course we all do, but with only two hands it can be hard to do both at once. That’s why Torimi Cafe came out with a line of ice creams modeled after three breeds of small birds.

May 13, 2013 by Master Blaster
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The Yomiuri Giants of Tokyo have long been the powerhouse team of Japanese Baseball. Through highly effective promotion and the acquisition of top players they often draw parallels with the New York Yankees.

So it’s no surprise that a month and a half into the 2013 season the Giants are sitting in a familiar first place spot in the Central League standings. However, things have begun to take a turn for the worst after a comment made by model Aki Higashihara in her supernatural “death blog.” Over the past decade people, places and businesses have all suffered some form of misfortune shortly after being mentioned in her blog Higashihara Desuga?

May 12, 2013 by Master Blaster
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Recently another video was added to the disturbingly growing number of viral images depicting people evacuating their bowels in public places in China. Previously we’ve seen subway and airplane crapping, but this lady takes the cake. Apparently trapped in a train station on the Shenzen Metro Line 3 with no other place to go, she chooses a glass elevator equipped with a security camera as her makeshift toilet.

May 11, 2013 by Master Blaster
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Generally, when looking for information, I avoid Q&A websites such as Yahoo! Answers at all costs. But recently I’ve been rethinking that policy. There are a lot of freaky people floating around these places that I’m missing out on.

One such freak gave the “best answer” to a simple request on buying doctor fish, a popular name for those fish in spas that remove the dead skin from your feet. It’s surprising though since while this response does give some fascinating insight into how a doctor fish eroticism addiction can affect the family unit, it seemed to lack any hard facts like a price or specific location.

May 11, 2013 by Master Blaster
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Some of you may remember our report on Shigenobu Matsuzawa’s visit to Gunma Cycle Sports Center a few months back. It’s the amusement park where everything has pedals including the roller coaster. While Shigenobu ultimately gave the place four out of five stars in his reviews, the photos he took looked kind of depressing. However, now a video released on YouTube seems to have captured a totally new angle of Gunma Cycle Sports Center which gives it a much needed image boost.

May 11, 2013 by Master Blaster
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On 8 May Wakayama Police announced that they arrested 26-year-old Masaya Ogawa for the indecent assault of a 23-year-old woman aboard a commuter train. Adding a bizarre twist to the story, Ogawa claims that she was asking for it. He doesn’t mean that in the lame wearing-a-mini-skirt-is-asking-for-it way that other sex offenders use. Ogawa says that this was a prearranged session of “molester-play” set up online between him and the woman.