Renting a hot guy to make you cry and dry your tears? We try Tokyo’s newest cathartic service

Because sometimes you need a little help on the way to and from a good cry.

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Good morning, senpai! Company offering wakeup calls from real Japanese schoolgirls

Everyone has their morning routine. For some, it’s a cup of strong coffee. For others, a morning workout. And apparently for still others, a schoolgirl fantasy is what jumpstarts their day.

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Wasp and mealworm sushi on the (unusual) menu at the Tokyo Bug-Eating Festival 【Photos】

Tired of sushi standbys like tuna and salmon? An annual event in Tokyo recently served up mealworm nigiri and black wasp gunkan, plus a host of other bug-based foods and drinks.

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What the…?!? Stuffed “Teddytaur” toy baffles and fascinates us at the same time

We’ve discovered a seriously bizarre-looking offering from high-end German stuffed toy maker Steiff. But what exactly is it? Apparently, it’s a Teddytaur!

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Feeling cold at night? Tokyo company will dispatch a hot guy to your place for a chaste sleepover

Ikebukuro-based company provides a shoulder to cry on and arms to sleep in by dispatching hot guys to spend the night at lonely women’s homes.

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Man brandishes samurai sword in New York Apple store, allegedly attempts to commit seppuku

Someone took the phrase “cutting in line” way too literally…

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History’s worst job? Japanese noblewomen used to hire servants to take the blame for their farts

What would be the ultimate luxury in personal service for a highborn aristocrat? Someone to draw your bath? Peel your grapes? Fan you with palm fronds? How about a servant whose job it is to take the blame for your farts.

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Foreigner’s “prank” video of proposing to random Japanese girls is wrong in so many ways

What happens when your “prank” isn’t really a prank, but it is kind of awkward? This might take a while…

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Jumpsuit with built-in kitty cuddle pouch lets you and your cat snuggle…and poo together, too

Because sometimes a sweatshirt with a kitty cuddle pouch isn’t enough. Oh, and also you have to poop.

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“Cute little sister” sleeved blanket helps wearer achieve new level of awesome/awkward

Do normal blankets not keep you warm enough on cold winter nights? How about one with an huggable anime girl stitched into it?

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So a bikini model and a kaiju walk into Japan’s most famous porn location…to sell toys 【Video】

A rubber suit monster, surreal humor, and a heaping helping of sexual subtext that has nothing to do with the product itself? This might be the alpha and the omega of Japanese commercials.

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Oxford Dictionaries picks single emoji as Word of the Year, seemingly forgets what “word” means

Oxford Dictionaries, the online arm of the publisher of the Oxford Dictionary of English, has announced that its 2015 Word of the Year is an emoji. No, not the word “emoji,” but a single, specific emoji.

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Athletic otaku runs marathon in impressive time while cosplaying as anime magical girl 【Photos】

When running a full marathon, you want to make sure you’re outfitted with the proper equipment, like supportive, well-cushioned athletic shoes, sunglasses to keep the glare out of your eyes, and, of course, a frilly anime magical girl skirt so you can cosplay as you run.

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Hatsune Miku-inspired figure has no need for pants or panties 【Photos】

There’s a long backstory to this figure inspired by virtual idol Hatsune Miku, but here’s the condensed version: She’s got no pants, or underwear, for that matter.

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Super-ripped video game heroine figure could stab you to death with her pointy pelvis 【Photos】

Just when you thought “anime girls with boobs so big they can’t stand up” was going to walk away with the award for this week’s most exaggerated character design, here comes a new challenger.

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Japan now has anime girls with boobs so big they literally can’t stand up

Giant anime boobs finally reach their inevitable and oddly comical ultimate extreme.

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“I want to be the street” — Man arrested AGAIN for hiding in drain to take upskirt photos

 A 28-year-old man has been arrested in Kobe after allegedly hiding in a drain to take up-skirt photos of women. This is his second arrest for the same crime.

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Super Mario Maker update doubles down on creepy “Skinny Mario” with weird easter egg【Video】

Super Mario Maker, the toolkit/game for Wii U that allows Mario fans to build their very own levels using a vast array of items and characters from the games’ universe, is without a doubt a huge hit. Players had been craving the ability to DIY their own levels for the classic series pretty much since the original handful of games were released for the original NES.

One addition to the game that players never expected to see was the inclusion of the crazy “Weird Mushroom”—originally a glitch in the first Super Mario Bros.—which turns Mario into “Skinny Mario,” a creepy, distorted Mario whose lanky limbs wiggle about all over the place with each (giant) jump.

Skinny Mario was, to put it lightly, not well-received by the gaming community, and Nintendo had a golden opportunity to fix it when it released the first update to the game a few days ago. Except, instead of doing away with Skinny Mario, Nintendo actually decided to include even more, super creepy, Skinny Mario appearances.

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Japanese meat-lovers celebrating their birthdays with crazy literal beefcakes

Let’s play a little word association game. When I say “birthday,” what’s the next word that comes to mind?

For everyone who said “suit,” well, we’ve always suspected that at least a handful of people at any given moment are reading RocketNews24 while completely nude. Still, I’m guessing that far more of you thought of birthday parties and birthday cakes, which tend to go hand in hand. But what do you make the centerpiece of your birthday celebration edibles if sweets aren’t your thing?

Simple: you get a cake made of meat, like these carnivorous Japanese citizens.

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Japanese tourist center asks small-penised travelers to not make a mess in the bathroom

While Japan’s highest mountain itself is the primary attraction, it’s not the only thing to see in the Mt. Fuji area. There’s also the Fuji Five Lakes, which would be beautiful enough to warrant a visit even if they didn’t have the famed peak serving as a dramatic backdrop.

But while travelers are happy to see the mountain and lakes alike, one thing none of them look forward to is a puddle of piss on the men’s room floor of a local visitor’s center. That’s why one facility has signs asking visitors to mind their aim when using the urinals, but while the Japanese text is a politely worded reminder, the English version seems to be implying that the reader’s penis really isn’t so impressive.

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