Recently on our Japanese site, we introduced a picture (above) uploaded to reddit of a young black male who had sits causally with his pants pulled up over his shoulders. The picture was a hit with our Japanese readers, who interpreted it as a herald of the end of koshipan—the Japanese word for ‘saggy pants,’ which is a portmanteau of hips (koshi) and pants (pantsu)—and the beginning of a new age: the age of kubipan (kubi = neck).
Feeling it our mission to keep Japan up to date with the latest hip-hop fashion, we called upon our own Mr. Satoh to model the basics of kubipan for our Japanese readers who are interested in trying it themselves.
However, we soon realized how foolish we were to believe such a challenging new style could be easily manipulated.
After carefully studying the original photo, we decided that we would need stretchable jersey pants similar to those of the young man. To be safe, we also bought the largest size available for retail purchase, LL.
Having Mr. Satoh step into the jersey pants, he was easily able to bring the waist up to his chest – but the centimeters between his chest and shoulders presented a challenge that couldn’t be overcome alone.
Two of our staff rushed to help the struggling Mr. Satoh but, no matter how hard they yanked, they couldn’t seem to pull the giant waistband over his scrawny shoulders.
Mr. Satoh was soon crying out in agony: “It hurts! It hurts! My ass, it hurts!”
The weak-willed Mr. Satoh seemed unable to take much more and, sensing danger of mission failure, we shouted to him in encouragement: “Endure it! If you can endure this, kubipan will become a reality for the Japanese people!”
And with one final heave, Mr. Satoh became the first Japanese man to achieve kubipan.
While his technique wasn’t as natural as the young progenitor, Mr. Satoh seemed to immediately forget the pain he had been complaining of moments before and sat there, grinningly blissfully: “It’s nice than I thought!”
From our experiment, we learned that if you are going to attempt kubipan, you must acquire the largest and most elastic jersey pants available. We imagine it’s much easier to find larger sizes overseas, so our Japan-based readers may want to look into ordering from abroad.
Those of you lacking the upper body strength of a young black male may also need to call upon the assistance of one or two friends to stretch the jersey pants over your shoulders.
With these tips in mind, we invite our readers from Japan and overseas to try kubipan for themselves!
[ Read in Japanese ]