
Recently on our Japanese site, we introduced a picture (above) uploaded to reddit of a young black male who had sits causally with his pants pulled up over his shoulders. The picture was a hit with our Japanese readers, who interpreted it as a herald of the end of koshipan—the Japanese word for ‘saggy pants,’ which is a portmanteau of hips (koshi) and pants (pantsu)—and the beginning of a new age: the age of kubipan (kubi = neck).
Feeling it our mission to keep Japan up to date with the latest hip-hop fashion, we called upon our own Mr. Satoh to model the basics of kubipan for our Japanese readers who are interested in trying it themselves.
However, we soon realized how foolish we were to believe such a challenging new style could be easily manipulated.
After carefully studying the original photo, we decided that we would need stretchable jersey pants similar to those of the young man. To be safe, we also bought the largest size available for retail purchase, LL.
Having Mr. Satoh step into the jersey pants, he was easily able to bring the waist up to his chest – but the centimeters between his chest and shoulders presented a challenge that couldn’t be overcome alone.
Two of our staff rushed to help the struggling Mr. Satoh but, no matter how hard they yanked, they couldn’t seem to pull the giant waistband over his scrawny shoulders.
Mr. Satoh was soon crying out in agony: “It hurts! It hurts! My ass, it hurts!”
The weak-willed Mr. Satoh seemed unable to take much more and, sensing danger of mission failure, we shouted to him in encouragement: “Endure it! If you can endure this, kubipan will become a reality for the Japanese people!”
And with one final heave, Mr. Satoh became the first Japanese man to achieve kubipan.

While his technique wasn’t as natural as the young progenitor, Mr. Satoh seemed to immediately forget the pain he had been complaining of moments before and sat there, grinningly blissfully: “It’s nice than I thought!”
From our experiment, we learned that if you are going to attempt kubipan, you must acquire the largest and most elastic jersey pants available. We imagine it’s much easier to find larger sizes overseas, so our Japan-based readers may want to look into ordering from abroad.
Those of you lacking the upper body strength of a young black male may also need to call upon the assistance of one or two friends to stretch the jersey pants over your shoulders.
With these tips in mind, we invite our readers from Japan and overseas to try kubipan for themselves!
Photos:Rocketnews24
[ Read in Japanese ]

We Wonder If Duckface Works For Japanese Males, Regret It Immediately
Siri Does Not Recognize English, Leads To Loss Of Self-Confidence
New AKB48 Cafe & Shop Fun Experience For Fans and Non-Fans Alike
How Many Little Bears Can You Get Snuggly With? Many, With These 3D Teddy Bear Pants!
Fashion Friends: Twitter Proves Almost Every Japanese College Student Wears the Same Exact Outfit
Chinese Photoshop Trolling Part 2: Now with 20% More Shirtless Men!
Chinese Photoshop Trolls Part 3: This Time It’s Personal
China’s Photoshop Experts Will Fix Your Bad Photos, But Be Careful What You Wish For
The Definitive Video Guide to Using Chopsticks, Guaranteed Everyone Will Learn Something From It
Oozing up From Below, Mysterious Marshmallow-like Substance Covers Nanjing Street
The Ten Most Beautiful Tunnels in the World and Where You Can Find Them
We Made Coca-Cola Transparent and Colorless. It Tastes Like…
Crime of Passion: Three Men Forcibly Deported from Saudi Arabia for Being “Too Handsome”
Disney Villains Clean Up Well, Wow Japan
Real-Life Barbie Gives Her Friends and Family a Makeover, Turns Them into Dolls
Peenzilla Worship! Japan’s Kanamara Festival Coming Up this April!
Chinese Woman on Trial for Killing Man by Squeezing His Scrotum
Chinese Student’s Bicycle Seat Breaks and… Gyah!
Before and After: 31 Startling Images of Plastic Surgery in Korea 【Photo Album】
Burger King Japan Offering 15 Bacon Strips for $1 So We Order Whopper With 105 Bacon Strips
Making an iPhone Sleeve Gun Like in the Movies: One Man’s Story
Be Nice to that Roach in Your Kitchen, It May One Day Save Your Life
Men Who Disappoint at Goukon (Group Blind Date), Nine Types That Shouldn’t Even Bother Showing up!
How to be Popular with Japanese Girls in Seven Steps
Learn How to Sleep in a Toilet Stall Like a Pro
“Hyper Penis Ranking” Website Asks Japan’s Men to Measure Up and Rank In
Mr. Sato Puts Panties on His Head to Become Superhuman
New Trailer for Ruroni Kenshin Live-Action Film Hits Net, Subtitles in Four Different Languages Coming Soon
Philip Kendall
Steven Simonitch
Master Blaster
Kay
Michelle Lynn Dinh
Jessica Ocheltree
Leave a Reply