Strange and interesting items often pop up on the Japanese Yahoo Auction page. Human billboards, human skulls, inhumanly overpriced electronics, and a private pop idol performance, could all be found in the past.
This time, however, it looks like the Earth itself is going under the hammer at a starting price of 69 yen (hehe) (US$0.86).
The first auction had gone up to the still relatively low price of 3,500 yen (US$44). However, due to bidders not following the seller’s rules, the auction was shut down and restarted. As of this writing, the bidding stands at 216,000 yen (US$2,700), a bargain if you ask me.
The Earth is listed as “authentic” and “used,” and there is a “no return” policy in effect. According to the product description, the Earth was bestowed upon the seller by God, who appeared to him in his dream. And so, with times being tight, he immediately opted to sell.
However the seller stipulates that each bid must be accompanied by a message expressing the bidder’s serious intention to purchase the Earth. Otherwise, he will determine the bid to be a prank and if he receives too many “prank bids” he will close down the auction and start over again at 69 yen.
He provides very helpful information regarding his merchandise fielding questions from potential buyers – unless they speak English, to which he replies with some weird nonsense, possibly about having big genitals.
Here are some of the Q&A from past and current auctions:
Q: “I love cigars. Is it possible to sell off just Cuba as a special package item?”
A: “Thank you for your question! After placing the winning bid, I think Havana can be moved to Saitama, Japan. Thank you for your interest.”
Q: “Is it possible to ship this via Altair? Thank you for your time.”
A: “Thank you for your question! Because it would take 17 light years just for the bank transaction to complete, I think you should forget shipping. Thank you for your interest.”
Q: “I’m curious why there’s no photo of the item’s backside. Are there any countries recklessly wasting resources or waging wars that we should know about?”
A: “Thank you for your question! Unfortunately there are many countries doing that. God is also quite upset about it. After a successful bid, I think I can talk to someone about crushing those countries like worms. Thank you for your interest.”
Q: “Hello. This is a really interesting item! If I buy the Earth will I become a god?
A: Thank you for your question! This item can’t make you a god. Are you alright in the head? Thank you for your interest.”
Q: “Hello. Is this time selling Earth any different than the last auction?”
A: “Thank you for your question! This is the same item. I am relisting it because some a**hole, f****t, s***head previous bidder refused the bid.”
The bid as it currently stands is set to close on 6 November at 11:10pm, providing no “a**hole s**theads” cause another reset. It’s pretty exciting to see who will get ownership of the Earth and what that will mean for those of us living on it.
Source: Yahoo Auction (Japanese)
*This auction may close suddenly however there will likely be a link to an updated one if it exists.
**UPDATE: 02/11/2012 The current bid is 9,889,895,888 円 (US$123M)**
**UPDATE: 06/11/2012 Twelve hours remaining, current bid 73,500円 (US$916) previous bids deemed “pranks”**
**UPDATE: 06/11/2012 Auction Closed, Winning bid was 75,500円 (US$940) God Help Us All**
▼ The previous auction that only got up to 3,500 yen.
▼ Actual Photo
[ Read in Japanese ]