Wandering around Tokyo it’s not at all unusual to see foreign men with Japanese girlfriends, but it’s much rarer to see foreign women with Japanese men. Some people think that foreign girls simply aren’t into Japanese guys, but when Japanese site Madame Riri checked out some English-language websites and forums, they found that there were plenty of girls out there who were interested in Japanese men, they just didn’t know how to go about bagging one.
On the forums of a Japanese culture site aimed at foreigners there were plenty of threads with titles such as “Are Japanese guys not interested in white girls?” and “How can I get a Japanese boyfriend?” These girls were all wanting to discuss how to make themselves appealing to Japanese men, and thankfully they were treated to a handful of great tips for how to do just that from one especially worldly-wise love expert.
Read on for five ways to get a Japanese guy.
1. Beautiful skin
Japanese guys will immediately notice the quality of your skin. Clear, white skin is the essence of beauty in Japan; if you’ve ever been to a beauty counter in Japan you’ll have seen the amount of potions and lotions promising whiter, brighter skin. Why are fair-skinned girls considered beautiful? According to one girl’s analysis, white skin is associated with purity, innocence and youth. As there is great importance attached to a woman’s youth, or at least appearance of youth, if you want to bag yourself a Japanese man then you first need to get that “perfect” skin.
2. Quiet down
Personality is also key! Here’s just a few adjectives that Madame Riri takes careful note of: “gracious, respectful, modest, slightly demure, innocent, friendly, approachable, sensitive.” Apparently the most important attribute, however, is shyness. Acting shy will make you seem “cute”, and being a “cute girl” is what many Japanese girls strive to be.
Japanese people show their feelings through actions rather than words. Whereas in many Western countries it wouldn’t be shocking for a girl to come out and say “I like you” straight to a guy’s face, in Japan this is still considered rather unconventional. The preferred route, our expert tells us, is for the girl to act shy, which ups their cuteness factor and makes it easier for the guy to approach them. If a girl doesn’t speak up around you it’s not because she’s not interested – far from it! She just knows that the way to a guy’s heart is to shut up and let him make the moves. The writer says that compared to Western guys, the average Japanese man is far shyer, so you’ll have to adjust your own “shyness level” to match his. Being your usual flirty foreigner self-will just drive him away.
3. Feminine style
So you’ve already prettied up your skin and changed your personality, but you’re still not done yet. Next up is personal appearance. It may be the opposite to what you’d expect, but try not to wear revealing clothes. You might think it ridiculous to change your style in order to get a guy, but if you’re serious about wanting a Japanese boyfriend, you’re going to need to think about how you wear your clothes. Of course personal hygiene is also very important, as is having clean soft hair, and natural looking make-up, but don’t even think about leaving the house with the goods on show if you’re trying to bag yourself a man.
4. Slim down
As if we hadn’t already got controversial enough, this one’s sure to get a few readers seething. While stating that of course different individuals have different tastes, this girl is adamant that the average Japanese guy prefers slim girls. Japan is as diet-mad as any other developed country, but the difference here is that most people don’t really need to diet – most Japanese girls are already very slim.
Apparently a slim body makes a girl look more cute and fragile. Most guys want a girl who is smaller than themselves so they can feel manly and protective, and as most Japanese guys are themselves quite slim, their girls have to get pretty tiny. However, when it comes to height it seems like there’s no defining trend; some guys like their girls short, others like them tall. The same goes for bust size. In the West we’re used to big breasts being – on the whole – the way to go, but a guy here is less likely to mention a huge pair of knockers when asked what he would want in his ideal woman.
5. Pull, don’t push
Don’t pressure him! And don’t be too forward with your flirting – keep it subtle. You need to be shy and retiring, remember. The advice Madame Riri puts forward is to pull rather than push him towards you. This is probably the essence of her advice; that foreigners can be too brash and in-your-face for the average Japanese man, who wants a meek, quiet lady on his arm, at least in the beginning when trying to make their approach and tensions are high.
Take this with a pinch of salt
Of course, this advice does not come direct from a Japanese man. There are probably parts that said Japanese men would agree with, but also parts where their more likely response would be a resounding “WTF?” And perhaps some of them would be more than a little creeped out at the thought of a girl changing herself so profoundly just in order to bag a Japanese boyfriend. Then again, it might give some people a bit of an ego boost, who knows?
Reading through this advice, I can’t help but think that this is actually a guide on “how to become a stereotypical Japanese woman”. I hate to be a sap, but I’m all for the cliché of “being yourself” and seeing what happens. What do you think?