So Japanese dudes dating digital anime girls has been a big thing in the western media lately because “OMG weird Japan!!,” but if there’s one thing the news stories get right it’s that there are a whole lot of “digital girlfriend” apps available for a very specific type of person.
One such app hopes to encourage users to slim down by dieting with their digital girlfriend – the idea being that the more you diet, the more she diets, and the slimmer and more attractive she gets. Never mind that some people don’t actually adhere to those cliched classical standards of beauty and might actually prefer a girlfriend that isn’t horrifically skinny (and may, themselves, not actually want to be horrifically skinny); the developers made a far more glaring error in coding the game to allow players to do the exact opposite of what the game’s title suggests.
As one Japanese Twitter user found out, while you can certainly have sensible, healthy meals with your digital girlfriend and exercise together, you can also do nothing together and force feed 80,000 calories a day down her gullet if you want to, like you’re trying to make horrible human foie gras from her.
The same Twitter user explains he “didn’t understand” the rules of the game and thought the whole point was to feed his digital girlfriend as many calories as possible, perhaps so he could send her out to intimidate other people’s digital girlfriends and collect their lunch money – because of course the digital girlfriends in this game are in high school.
As you can see from the image, the Twitter user quickly found that it only took a couple of days for his love interest to quite literally balloon up to the point that she had to awkwardly reach around her enormous body to straighten her uniform tie. Quick aside here: Why does it seem like all these Japanese dating apps have you meeting these girls in eerily empty high school classrooms? Does no one care about getting to their next class on time?
So, we suppose the moral of the story is that nobody, not even your underage girlfriend, can force you to diet and when someone does tell you to go on a diet, the sensible response is to shove several whole cakes in their face until they start to resemble that expanding bad guy from Big Trouble in Little China.