We are all of course familiar with the story of how North Korea’s supreme leader, Kim Jong-un, single-handedly defeated the entire US military with the aid of his magical flaming unicorn and 12-foot vertical leaping skills. I don’t know about you all, but every time I hear about it, I can’t help wishing I could be as bad-ass as he is and experience the same such heroics.
Now the wishing is over, however, thanks to Glorious Leader!, an upcoming game for PC and smartphone by indie developer Moneyhorse. In it, players pilot the plump despot through seven levels of hard running, hard jumping, hard shooting, and hard unicorn riding action.
Moneyhorse has given a glimpse into the game with a teaser trailer and several screenshots of Glorious Leader!
In the video, we can see all the episodes in Kim Jong-un’s triumphant escapades faithfully recreated in side-scrolling levels, such as when the US attacked North Korea with an aircraft carrier and the Statue of Liberty.
Then there’s also the time where Kim Jong-un and Dennis Rodman thwarted the Harlem Globetrotters who had infiltrated the Glorious Leader’s fortress.
And of course the game wouldn’t be complete without a retelling of the epic unicorn battle of North Hamgyong when Jong-un and his faithful steed slayed 10,000 invading imperialists and destroyed 200 drones.
I don’t know, though. These games have a tendency to exaggerate the facts to make them more exciting, so you’ll probably end up killing more than historical records show. Besides I’m pretty sure that Kim Jong-un’s unicorn only had flaming hooves, not a flaming tail, but I suppose we can allow the game’s designer that one small use of artistic license.
Nevertheless, the game has a definite Metal Slug/Contra vibe of run ‘n’ gun action to it, which as we all know is how the Supreme Leader lives 24-7. As Japan caught wind of the soon-to-be released game they too grew excited to finally live vicariously through the real adventures of Kim Jong-un.
Reviews of the teaser were largely positive, saying, “The pixel art is beautiful,” and, “I’d buy this if it came out on 3DS or PSP.” Another commenter asked the question that’s on everyone’s minds: “Is the last boss Obama?”
It wasn’t all rave reviews, however. One viewer had a criticism that you can’t help but agree with: “The player dies? I’m angry if he isn’t invincible.” Sure enough, In the top corner of some screens, Jong-un can been seen having a limited number of lives.
Naturally, as we were all taught in school and by our wet nurses during story time, the Glorious Leader is impervious to mortal weapons. Grandma also used to tell me this was the case because she vividly remembered the great battles between Kim Jong-un and 4,000 Americans in the streets of Wonsan… Which now that I think about it is kind of odd, because Kim Jong-un is younger than I am.
Perhaps that’s why Grandma had to go away soon after I started pre-school…
▼ I don’t remember this part of the story, but it appears to be some type o’ dong rocket.