You may not have noticed, but a lot of advertising for anime and video games revolves around boobs, almost as if the marketing plan is trying to build up escape velocity to break free of the gravitational pull of the female cast’s breasts. And since nitty-gritty bits of numerical data regarding a series’ world and characters are the icing on the cake for super fans, you can usually expect the producers to release official statistics regarding the bust measurement and also often the cup size of the more top-heavy characters.
One new anime, though, has decided to raise the bar, and twice actually, since not only do its official character bios reveal the cast’s underwire measurements, but in perhaps the most bizarre bit of trivia ever, the weight, in kilograms, of the characters’ breasts.
Whenever I hear about an upcoming video game or anime with the word “valkyrie” in the title, I’m compelled to look into it, since I stubbornly refuse to give up hope that software developer tri-Ace will someday give us Valkyrie Profile 3. Right off the bat, though, I should be clear that the new mixed-media franchise Valkyrie Drive has nothing to do with Valkyrie Profile. What Valkyrie Drive is about, though, is boobs.
▼ And in the case of the character Mirei, incredibly elastic boobs that are stubbornly committed to going their own way, like they’re twin siblings who absolutely refuse to go to the same college.
But hey, what do you expect when one of the franchise’s producers is Kenichiro Takagai, the man behind the Senran Kagura series and its busty ninja schoolgirl antics? Of course, it’s not that Valkyrie Drive is simply a rehash of Senran Kagura with some Norse mythological trappings. It also adds the element of girls making out with each other, as hinted at by the story preview from the official website for Valkyrie Drive – Mermaid, the franchise’s anime leg which is set to premiere in October.
“One day, a girl named Mamori Tokonome is suddenly transported to the man-made island of Mermaid, where she is attacked as soon as she wakes up. Another recent arrival, Mirei Shikishima, protects her, but their attackers do not relent. When all hope seems lost, Mirei presses her lips to Mamori’s. Enveloped in a white light, Mamori’s body transforms into a sword, which Mirei takes up to mount a counterattack.”
Okay, so between the character designs, action, and limitless potential for lesbian fan service, it’s pretty clear this is aimed at male anime fans. So it’s not really a surprise that the official character bios include the girls’ measurements and cup sizes. For example, here’s the tale of the tape for Mirei, which lists her at 168 centimeters (66.1 inches) tall and with a weight of 65 kilograms (143 pounds). Her bust/waist/hip measurements are given as 111, 65, and 94 centimeters, respectively, and her breasts are listed as extremely large H-cups.
But take a closer look at the statistics, and you’ll see a couple more numbers in parentheses.
On the bottom is the character’s underwire measurement, 83 centimeters for Mirei, which is an unusually high level of detail for an anime character bio to provide. Still, you can kind of see the logic here, as it’s just a different way of hitting the viewer over the head with Mirei’s boobs’ massiveness.
But what’s this notation next to Mirei’s weight?
That’s giving us the weight of her breasts, a nice, round three kilograms (6.6 pounds).
This…is honestly pretty baffling. Sure, it’s pretty common knowledge that in a lot of guys’ minds, bigger breasts = better breasts, and Valkyrie Drive’s chesty artwork is likely to be an effective way of catching the eyes of the young male anime fans it’s obviously aimed at. But has any guy ever looked at a woman with a hot body, then said to his friends, “Whoa, dude, check that chick out! Her boobs must weigh a ton!”
▼ Or, more accurately, 0.003 metric tons?
It’s not like the producers offer this information only for Mirei, Valkyrie Drive’s bustiest character. Breast weights are also given for Mamori (0.5 kilograms)…
…Kasumi (one kilogram)…
…Yurika (0.1 kilograms)…
…and Charlotte (two kilograms), whose contribution brings the main cast’s collective mammary mass to 6.6 kilograms.
Perhaps weirdest of all is that unlike bust measurements, which analytical types can compare to those of their favorite real-life swimsuit models or adult video actresses, I’m guessing most people don’t have a frame of reference for how much breasts weigh when separated from the rest of the body. Excepting violent psychopaths who regularly dismember their victims and put their trophies on a scale, of course, but is that demographic really big enough to support not only the Valkyrie Drive anime, but the planned console and smartphone games too?
Related: Valkyrie Drive – Mermaid official website
Source: Anime News Network
Top image: Valkyrie Drive – Mermaid official website (edited by RocketNews24)
Insert images: YouTube/Kagayaki Mirai, Valkyrie Drive – Mermaid official website (1, 2) (edited by RocketNews24)