Usually people would be happy to get a car for their birthday, but in this case we were giving Mr. Sato even odds that he might punch us.
As you may recall from our previous article, our writer P.K. Sanjun went to great lengths to create RocketNews24’s own gachina-itasha (freaking painful car) by slathering it in images of his colleague Mr. Sato.
As we mentioned then, this was all done without his knowing, and it’s no coincidence that Mr. Sato Car’s completion fell right on his birthday, 19 November. With the job finished, all that was left was to present the car to our iconic reporter.
It should be noted that while Mr. Sato is a happy-go-lucky guy for the most part, he does have certain idiosyncrasies that cause him to rage out, such as throwing one’s disposable chop sticks away after using them. And when he blows his top, it can get pretty wild.
So, we thought we would make the presentation in a public place with plenty of witnesses. We chose the swanky Omotesando area of Tokyo because it was very crowded, and because the Mr. Sato Car would really stand out among the other high-end automobiles parked around it.
Meanwhile, back at the office, we fooled Mr. Sato by telling him there was a breaking crêpe story in Omotesando and he would need to go down and cover it. Surprisingly, he believed that and rushed out with his camera.
It was a long wait in the Mr. Sato Car and somewhere between 50 to 60 people gave us strange looks with grimaced faces. Then, suddenly Mr. Sato came walking up the street, crêpe in hand!
The moment Mr. Sato laid eyes on the Mr. Sato Car all he could say was, “Nice! Nice! Really nice!!!”
We were relieved that Mr. Sato didn’t strike down upon us with furious anger, but instead turned out to be the only human not affected by the searing aesthetic pain of this itasha. On the contrary, the warm smile he gave us with his cream-encrusted lip said it all.
And so ended a truly happy birthday, thanks to the generosity of RocketNews24. Sure, the sticker price of the car was only eight bucks, and the registration, insurance, gas, and parking will end up costing Mr. Sato exponentially more. But as they say, it’s the thought that counts.
Happy Birthday Mr. Sato!
Original Article by P.K. Sanjun
[ Read in Japanese ]