Dinner is involved.
Compared to previous generations, Japanese men, on average, pitch in more with housework than their forefathers did. That said, many would argue that the division of domestic duties is far from even, with wives still doing more of the household chores than their husbands do.
This is especially true where meal preparation is concerned, with women doing the lion’s share of the cooking. The associated expectation, in some marriages, that the wife will take care of getting dinner ready for the husband doesn’t seem to sit well, though, with Japanese Twitter user @noske_nico.
The frustrated wife recently tweeted a photo of a handwritten note, with “Here’s something you should never say to your wife,” written at the very top. “I showed this to my husband,” tweeted @noske_nico, which makes it unclear whether or not she herself is the note’s original author. Her agreement with its contents are crystal clear, though, as she added “But I’d like all the men of the world to keep this in mind.”
旦那さんに見せたのですが、 世の男性人は知っておいて欲しいこと。 https://t.co/lB2jAF2mQ0—
のすけ (@noske_nico) January 07, 2017
The note reads:
Here’s something you should never say to your wife.
“What about my dinner?”
When your wife is sick, tired, or busy, and she says “I can’t make dinner tonight,” the male mind has a tendency to ask that question as it grasps the situation. However, when a woman hears that question, it registers as “I don’t really understand what’s going on with you, but make my dinner.”
So when your wife says that, let’s take a deep breath, and say “I’ll go pick up something to eat (or eat out), and do you want me to bring something back for you?”
It’s important to show concern about what your wife is going to eat. When she’s feeling poorly, this single phrase can have a big effect. So watch what you say!
@noske_nico’s advice swiftly resonated with other Internet users, with tens of thousands echoing her sentiment. Those who’d seen the sort of insensitivity @noske_nico is aggravated by were especially vocal in their agreement, with comments including:
“My ex-husband was the kind of person who always said [inconsiderate] things like that.”
“I think my mom went through that sort of thing with my dad, and it really seems like there are a lot of [thoughtless] guys like that.”
Others, though, thought that @noske_nico’s ideal communication style relied a little too much on conjecture, saying they’d prefer a more direct and open communication style.
“Look, I’m not a mind reader, so how about if we both just say what we’re thinking?”
“If my husband said [he was going to eat out], I’d at least ask him myself to pick something up for me too.”
But when it comes to true selflessness, no one topped this commenter’s father.
“If my mom isn’t feeling well, when my dad comes home from work, even if he’s feeling tired, he says ‘Are you OK? If you’ve got any appetite, I’ll go pick something up for you’ or ‘How about if I cook something?’ And afterwards, he even takes care of the dishes. My dad is really amazing like that.”
No word on whether Dad’s cooking tastes good or not, but we’re sure his wife appreciates it when she’s feeling bad.
Casey doesn’t need dinner, but if you’d follow him on Twitter, he’d feel a lot better.